She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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