I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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