I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize