I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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