That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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