I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
