i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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