just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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