p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize