Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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