hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
