I must be too annoying 4 u.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
