A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
