there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
