so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
