If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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