I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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