You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
