So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
