Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
