the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
