I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
