Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
