Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize