that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
