Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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