This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you had me at cake vodka
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
