Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
