I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so let's talk penis.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
