You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
