Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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