I should be sponsored by Trojan
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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