I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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