C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
