i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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