is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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