Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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