should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
