she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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