I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
