For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
