and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Let's get the cat blown out
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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