So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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