I want to have your abortion
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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