i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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