he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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