i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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