I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize