My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
