Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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