i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
