well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize