I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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