..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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