remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
