dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
