it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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