You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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