So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
