i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
