Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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