If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
